Kung Fu Uguis, Flying Foxes, and Hungry Pandas

Orientalizing, bastardizing, Caucasian preconception, Glorified Digital Animal, Piece of Work! but Oh! So FUNNY!

Waiting in the dim lit theatre on a random weekday night seems demure compared to an evening of viewing countless food network programming. I damned well missed that seductive Giada des Laurentes and the action packed cursing of Ramsey in his nightmares. Nothing better than sitting next to some damn caucasian teenagers talking like ozzy ozbourne mixed with the latest circus punk band lead singer. Fools. Well the previews have started and the hope of silence rang through my drums. "I WANT TO KILL WALL-E MAAAAAN". Nope I wasn't spared the idiocracy of these trashy kids. I want to shove a cue stick up your.... hows that for etiquette in a theatre? Let me watch my god damn panda fight god damn kung fu or I'll god damn wushu finger you myself! The movie starts and I'm greeted with silence. Thank GOD!

If you don't know already, Kung Fu Panda is a dreamworks movie about a Panda who learns Kung Fu. Wow, redundant and original, I know. Don't let the lack of creative title give you qualms about this movie. It is what it is. A farce, but a good one at that. There are a few jokes in there only orientals would know. The elderly Kungfu master called Ugui is simply the romanization of the word turtle in Chinese. This brought many laughters from the crowd on the exception of the trashy kids and caucasian minority in Vancouver. Don't take me as a bigot but it brings joy to me when even a bastardizing, orientalizing movie like this can break subtle jokes that even their own North American viewers barely understand. Overall I enjoyed this movie quite surprisingly. There are some questionable moments and as I said this movie is bastardizing and orientalizing. The concepts are philosophically Western masked with names and characters that resemble oriental concepts. But go ahead and enjoy a few laughs, I did.

I was recently invited to a Facebook group, yes another facebook group, that was petitioning for the re-naming of the Vancouver International Airport (YVR) to the Terry Fox International Airport. This is one of the most rediculous petitions among many rediculous petitions that liberal hippies and anti-developmental but pride filled Vancouverites pass around. I informed the petitioners that re branding of an International Airport requires millions of dollars, and this money will come from Tax Payers. Why spend millions on rebranding something established with a good reputation for over 40 years. Their simple argument was that Toronto has the Lester B. Pearson Internation and Montreal had the Pierre Elliot Trudeau International. Well I'm sorry but central Canada is just that, in CENTRAL CANADA. Vancouver is an international HUB where many tourists and corporations pass through or stay at. To suddenly rebrand the airport would leave travellers confused and the entire brand equity created by 40 years of branding goes down the drain. I have nothing but respect for Terry Fox, he is a local hero. I have to question why these people are pushing for something so rediculous though and why Terry? I told them to save their creativity for developing infrastructure in Vancouver rather than waste it on such frivolous sentiments. Vancouverites are such foolishly proud people sometimes. All this creative energy could be put towards better things in our city.

I have a love hate relationship with AYCE (all you can eat). I love AYCE because it's AYCE. I hate AYCE because it's AYCE. The usual AYCE haunt would be semi-edible food filled with hundreds of options to fill you up before you break their food cost records. There are exceptions of course. In Vancouver, AYCE sushi is the greatest cookie cutting machine. You take a beautiful food concept and you beat it and contort it to a cheapened level till its half edible but profitable. The exception in this case would be Ninkazu and Tomakazu, their qualities are still quite bearable. Along comes Posh, now growing at 3 restaurants a year, and breaks my preconception of AYCE. First of all, Posh is a chain franchise that brings you Japanese Sukiyaki hot pot, albiet in a Taiwanese lens. They claim to be the original Sukiyaki franchise in North America, I don't have historical records to disprove this but they have a damn good business model and food quality to match. The cut of beef is fat, and yes this is a good sign. All you damn Vancouverites complaining about how fat beef is should learn what good beef has, FAT! Why is kobe beef expensive? IT'S FAT! Back to my elboration on posh. The cuts of meat are good quality and the quality of hot pot ingrediants including produce are quality. They spare no cost on this. They have a spicy soup version which is amazing as well, the chili hot sauce they make is just as pleasing. The restaurant is extremely clean and the waiters wipe down the marble surfaces painstakingly over and over again like Michaelangelo "wax on, wax off". The ambience is clean, zen like and modern. The washrooms are clean! HALLELUJAH! Asian proprietors who know how to keep washrooms clean! Now the reason I hate AYCE is the primal side of me comes out of hibernation to feast. I feel like a Panda bear with ravenous appetite. Theres no end to it. I specifically wore a linen shirt and shorts to fit the extra belly of mine for that meal. There were seven of us and a total of 40 dishes of meat were consumed by the end of the night. A close friend of me reminded me that eating should be savoring and tasting the delight not to eat my money's worth. A recent article I read by Anthony Bourdain was thoughtful and eloquently put it, "STOP EATING SO DAMN MUCH!" I've learnt my lesson. Give me a tapas menu anytime and I'll gladly choose it over the AYCE. Izakayas are all the rage right now and rightly so. My hate for AYCE is slowing overcoming my love for AYCE. Time to hibernate again FungFung the Panda.

Posh: The first exclusive Sukiyaki Restaurant in North America
Richmond: 1123 - 3779 Sexsmith Rd. Richmond BC 604-303-7674
Broadway: 101 -1788 W. Broadway Vancouver BC 604-737-7674
Kingsway: 105 - 6462 Kingsway St. Vancouver BC 604-434-7674